nada

it's so weird when i think about blogging. there's just nothing to say. but when i'm outside, doing stuff, a million phrases run through my head i wish i had a pen and paper to jot everything down. i am such a geek.

summer in palm springs is sOoOoO BORING. there's LA, there's san francisco, there's orange county but where the hell is time? NADA. i can't find the time to go out of town because there's work. i can't just leave work. because if i do, i won't be able to pay for my precious bills.

oh dear my friend is talking to me about the divine matrix.

one of a million drama queen's contemplations

sometimes i come to a point where i feel like i have no tears left to cry. it leads me to thinking about how much pain causes me to shed a tear. it's one of my many emotional responses that i'd like to have more control of. once the tears start falling, my speech slurs and i say things i never even meant to say. i do things that oppose what i intended to do to begin with.

when i think i can't go about on my own, certain circumstances force me to realize that maybe... i can. for so long i've had a reliance on a significant other to act as my other half. or, according to him, acts as my smaller part. i am the bigger half. it's all about my feelings. my problems. my needs. much as my pride in me refuses to admit it, perhaps it's true.

here i am thinking that i am with the sacrifices, giving more than i take, understanding more than i am being understood. but in fact, when it comes to the point where i reach comparison in this form, it is i who lack. maybe i need to sacrifice more, give more than i take, and above all... understand. to act beyond my nature and to improve myself because somebody has shone light on my shortcomings isn't a very easy thing to do. not with my personality.

i hold no blame for anybody who loses interest in me because of my selfishness. maybe i am incapable of handling a relationship properly. maybe my brain's capacity holds no room for such complicated matter. or perhaps my pride takes over and fails to recognize the obvious solution. whatever the case, i hold no cruel intentions. selfish ones, more so. if i could hold my pride in my left hand, i would toss it to the right and crush it with all my might.

You Are A Realistic Romantic

It's easy for you to get swept away by romance... But you've done a pretty good job keeping perspective. You're still taken in by love poems and sunsets You just don't fall for every dreamy pick up line!

coachella fest

woo!! it's happening tomorrow... my first concert right here in cali! a 3 day event that's gonna be packed with hot hot madness!! too bad i only get to go on the 27th, which is tomorrow. i wanted to see the rhcp tho. oh well.

i haven't blogged in FOREVER. i have so much to mention. i passed my road test and finally got myself a car..

it's a 2004 toyota corolla (limited edition).. that's me posing, feeling it. don't ask how long i have to pay for this.. but it beats taking the bus!! f'realzzzz..

i named her "Bubbles". yes. it's a SHE.

"QT" on board...pshh!

dressed it up a little bit.. to suit my "needs"... hehe. it's a pretty sweet thing to drive. i don't even realize i'm speeding sometimes. a guy in yellow mustang convertible was yelling at me for cutting him off today. whatEVER. :p i'm thinkin of putting up a "new driver" sticker somewhere, so everybody stays away from me on the road.. but they may also take advantage of me, so maybe not then.  

it's 12:30.. i'm out. zzzz...

Currently Listening Once Again By John Legend Save Room see related

For a couple of minutes at least, i'll allow myself to indulge in the pleasure of blogging.

I just got done reviewing for my government test tomorrow. This particular polsci class is a real slacker compared to the one i took in UST, having Atty.Bong Lopez as professor (often referred to as a terror prof, but ironically is one of the funniest persons i've ever met) i think i'll be eternally greatful for the things i learned in that class.

i take my driving test March 20. i've got about two weeks to overcome and improve my weaknesses. intersections, four way stops, lane changing... proper braking...pfft.

i was supposed to go drive with my dad today but i was feeling a little lazy. i had yesterday and today off from work but i'll be working the entire week starting tomorrow. speaking of work, my manager awarded me some kind of Employee of the Month thing.there's 2 every month, and yours truly got lucky this month. i get a bigger discount at the store for this month. ..like i need to do anymore shopping. i think my bank account will pretty much be wiped out by the time we set out to look for my car. and that's only taking care of the downpayment. my later earnings will have to pay off the whole thing...

yesterday i saw ZODIAC with Laureen. we were mall rats for a day, and i got to fill her in on my herstory... which made me realize how long it's been since high school. the movie itself was pretty good. set in the 70's, it was based on a true story of a psycho who killed people for fun in various towns in California. he would just go about shooting couples who hung around in their cars, went for picnics, or women driving on the freeway. when i told my boyfriend the story he said "don't you just wish you didn't know about some things in life.." lol. after watching that movie i had a slight unrealistic urge to flee the state, or stay at home forever. but nobody can stop mental disorders, disturbed patients or the production of weapons. i don't think any place is safe nowadays. danger lurks everywhere.

i just started feeling better after being sick for a whole week. i keep trying to eat at certain times of the day, to avoid passing out at work and getting hardcore headaches.

oh man.. it's 11:21. i still need to prepare for a small quiz on thursday. :(

... 'till i blog again. =)