shawitee's Xanga

nada

Mon, 30 Jul 2007 04:23:07 GMT

it's so weird when i think about blogging. there's just nothing to say. but when i'm outside, doing stuff, a million phrases run through my head i wish i had a pen and paper to jot everything down. i am such a geek.

summer in palm springs is sOoOoO BORING. there's LA, there's san francisco, there's orange county but where the hell is time? NADA. i can't find the time to go out of town because there's work. i can't just leave work. because if i do, i won't be able to pay for my precious bills.

oh dear my friend is talking to me about the divine matrix.

one of a million drama queen's contemplations

Thu, 21 Jun 2007 16:32:57 GMT

sometimes i come to a point where i feel like i have no tears left to cry. it leads me to thinking about how much pain causes me to shed a tear. it's one of my many emotional responses that i'd like to have more control of. once the tears start falling, my speech slurs and i say things i never even meant to say. i do things that oppose what i intended to do to begin with.

when i think i can't go about on my own, certain circumstances force me to realize that maybe... i can. for so long i've had a reliance on a significant other to act as my other half. or, according to him, acts as my smaller part. i am the bigger half. it's all about my feelings. my problems. my needs. much as my pride in me refuses to admit it, perhaps it's true.

here i am thinking that i am with the sacrifices, giving more than i take, understanding more than i am being understood. but in fact, when it comes to the point where i reach comparison in this form, it is i who lack. maybe i need to sacrifice more, give more than i take, and above all... understand. to act beyond my nature and to improve myself because somebody has shone light on my shortcomings isn't a very easy thing to do. not with my personality.

i hold no blame for anybody who loses interest in me because of my selfishness. maybe i am incapable of handling a relationship properly. maybe my brain's capacity holds no room for such complicated matter. or perhaps my pride takes over and fails to recognize the obvious solution. whatever the case, i hold no cruel intentions. selfish ones, more so. if i could hold my pride in my left hand, i would toss it to the right and crush it with all my might.

You Are A Realistic Romantic

It's easy for you to get swept away by romance...
But you've done a pretty good job keeping perspective.
You're still taken in by love poems and sunsets
You just don't fall for every dreamy pick up line!

Are You Romantic or Realistic?

coachella fest

Fri, 27 Apr 2007 06:30:02 GMT

woo!! it's happening tomorrow... my first concert right here in cali! a 3 day event that's gonna be packed with hot hot madness!! too bad i only get to go on the 27th, which is tomorrow. i wanted to see the rhcp tho. oh well.

i haven't blogged in FOREVER. i have so much to mention. i passed my road test and finally got myself a car..

it's a 2004 toyota corolla (limited edition).. that's me posing, feeling it. don't ask how long i have to pay for this.. but it beats taking the bus!! f'realzzzz..

i named her "Bubbles". yes. it's a SHE.

"QT" on board...pshh!

dressed it up a little bit.. to suit my "needs"... hehe. it's a pretty sweet thing to drive. i don't even realize i'm speeding sometimes. a guy in yellow mustang convertible was yelling at me for cutting him off today. whatEVER. :p i'm thinkin of putting up a "new driver" sticker somewhere, so everybody stays away from me on the road.. but they may also take advantage of me, so maybe not then.

it's 12:30.. i'm out. zzzz...

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Sat, 17 Mar 2007 21:01:14 GMT

reggae is beautiful. so are you.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Wed, 07 Mar 2007 06:22:57 GMT

For a couple of minutes at least, i'll allow myself to indulge in the pleasure of blogging.

I just got done reviewing for my government test tomorrow. This particular polsci class is a real slacker compared to the one i took in UST, having Atty.Bong Lopez as professor (often referred to as a terror prof, but ironically is one of the funniest persons i've ever met) i think i'll be eternally greatful for the things i learned in that class.

i take my driving test March 20. i've got about two weeks to overcome and improve my weaknesses. intersections, four way stops, lane changing... proper braking...pfft.

i was supposed to go drive with my dad today but i was feeling a little lazy. i had yesterday and today off from work but i'll be working the entire week starting tomorrow. speaking of work, my manager awarded me some kind of Employee of the Month thing.there's 2 every month, and yours truly got lucky this month. i get a bigger discount at the store for this month. ..like i need to do anymore shopping. i think my bank account will pretty much be wiped out by the time we set out to look for my car. and that's only taking care of the downpayment. my later earnings will have to pay off the whole thing...

yesterday i saw ZODIAC with Laureen. we were mall rats for a day, and i got to fill her in on my herstory... which made me realize how long it's been since high school. the movie itself was pretty good. set in the 70's, it was based on a true story of a psycho who killed people for fun in various towns in California. he would just go about shooting couples who hung around in their cars, went for picnics, or women driving on the freeway. when i told my boyfriend the story he said "don't you just wish you didn't know about some things in life.." lol. after watching that movie i had a slight unrealistic urge to flee the state, or stay at home forever. but nobody can stop mental disorders, disturbed patients or the production of weapons. i don't think any place is safe nowadays. danger lurks everywhere.

i just started feeling better after being sick for a whole week. i keep trying to eat at certain times of the day, to avoid passing out at work and getting hardcore headaches.

oh man.. it's 11:21. i still need to prepare for a small quiz on thursday. :(

... 'till i blog again. =)

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Tue, 13 Feb 2007 08:02:53 GMT

i think there are just certain moments in life where you feel like a blasted idiot. hahaha.

i thought we didn't have class today, since it was A.LiNCOLn's bday or some shiz like that. well, turns out the College doesn't even observe the holiday. fonny fonny fonny. whatever. i missed my first class. made it to my second. only the high-schoolers and grade schoolers didn't have class today. that's why i had a lil slumber party with my cousins last night. utter gayness.

anyways!!!!! i worked 4-10PM so at least that took some of my feeling of irresponsibility away. . haha.

dude.... it's 1Am. i think i need to sleep if i don't want to miss my 9:30Am class tomorrow. gah!!!!!

anybody seen GREEN STREET HOOLIGANS?? pretty cool movie. go see!!!!!!! oi!!

apathetic quote of the day: "I did not forget. I just don't care."..

Friday, February 09, 2007

Fri, 09 Feb 2007 03:08:55 GMT

i'm such a sucker for love songs. regardless of not being able to relate to the song in a lyrical perspective, i still like it, hands down.

school and work = exhaustion.

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Sat, 27 Jan 2007 06:56:51 GMT

so i have 2 days left before school starts...

a little nervous about it, actually. but whatever, education is education, right? i had to buy my books the other day. the cost practically ate up half my week's paycheque. i shan't complain tho, because what i will gain is more than money can ever buy.

well, i'm getting really close to getting my driver's license now, after hours and hours of practise. my dad still won't let me take the road test, i think he's a little nervous about me being behind the wheel by myself. i still have to prove to him that i won't go nuts on the road. i ran a red light once, while making a right turn. the coast was clear, but i forgot to make a complete stop. pretty funny. but a major no-no for the road test.

my parking as always, still annoys me. i need to utilize my mirrors more. on top of that, there's the speed to maintain, lanes to stay on, and other drivers to watch out for. oh golly, driving is so not easy. i'm such a beginner.

(hopefully) after getting my license, i need to find a good deal for my first car. my dad won't pay for it, so I have to. goodness me. i'm thinking of getting a white ford mustang for a little over $4K. howEVER, my dad says it may have more than a few glitches to it, considering the fact that it is a sports car.

but i want a sports car!!!!!

hubcaps look a little err.. but we can fix that, can we?

first thing's first. need. to. get. license. i'll just go over to Indio, where almost everyone passes the test, and go vroom vroom. hehe.

* gasp *

Sat, 20 Jan 2007 08:28:57 GMT

*sniff.. i miss my high school. it's been.. almost 3 years since we left. even when we never really sang the song with great pride and seriousness... thinking about those days puts a smile on my face. dude i just rhymed.

* once an EKer, always an EKer. *

PS. i hope Mr.Tam still rocks out and shows off to students in the music room.. and most of all, uses the projector to play DVDs from mainland China! HAHAHA.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Wed, 17 Jan 2007 20:46:02 GMT

man, talk about being lazy to blog...

agendas keeping me bz bz. i'm off to the community college later to pay my tuition for the semester. a pretty hefty sum, if u ask me. all because i'm still considered an "out-of-state" student. it sucks! but after june 2007, i'll be paying the regular, normal, more affordable amount.

after over a year of being out of school, i'm a little uneasy about going back. well of course i know it's the best path for me, i'm just kind of nervous/anxious about it.. it's not like i'm going for the full-blown package just yet. i'm still waiting on my application to UCI. i've applied to start this fall 2007, and in the meantime i'm gonna be taking 3 classes at the college around here.

you sense my anxiety? haha...

it's alot of work, getting all the stuff sorted out. financial aid included. i'm tryna squeeze some money out of the bush administration to help finance my schooling. i hope that turns out ok.

..........i want food..